Some food for thought.
The Courts and the attorneys almost always know when the real issue is about the money and not about the custody, parenting time, living arrangements, etc.
You are not fooling anyone when things are going fine, and then when one party asks for, or files for, child support or maintenance, coincidentally custody now becomes an issue.
Money may be a legitimate concern that needs to be addressed, but call it what it is..it helps with your credibility down the road.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Friday, September 12, 2014
School....the Safe Haven
For families that are in the middle of a family law or divorce matter, schools can be the only "safe haven" children have. There is familiarity and routine there when their whole world seems to be upside down.
As adults when we talk about where children will attend school we need to put ourselves in the shoes of these young people, whatever age they are....
These children are relying on our putting their interest ahead of our own. If attending one school over another would be easier for us as parents or adults, or give us more time with our children, it seems as if that would mean it is best for the kids.
Surprisingly, changing schools is not often what is best for them. Before suggesting a change-- take a real look at where their community of friends come from? What type of learner are they? How well do they adapt to change? What have they been looking forward to?
Many of the adults I work with find it difficult to leave their home, friends, jobs, churches and yet they forget that it is even more agonizing for our children. Part of this is because as adults we have some "say" or "choices". The children really do not. They are not creating the plan. They are concerned about what their future will be like....
we need to remember, in the midst of all we are going through, to be concerned too.
As adults when we talk about where children will attend school we need to put ourselves in the shoes of these young people, whatever age they are....
These children are relying on our putting their interest ahead of our own. If attending one school over another would be easier for us as parents or adults, or give us more time with our children, it seems as if that would mean it is best for the kids.
Surprisingly, changing schools is not often what is best for them. Before suggesting a change-- take a real look at where their community of friends come from? What type of learner are they? How well do they adapt to change? What have they been looking forward to?
Many of the adults I work with find it difficult to leave their home, friends, jobs, churches and yet they forget that it is even more agonizing for our children. Part of this is because as adults we have some "say" or "choices". The children really do not. They are not creating the plan. They are concerned about what their future will be like....
we need to remember, in the midst of all we are going through, to be concerned too.
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