Thinking of Talking to Your Children About Court...DON'T

The Courts and Attorneys for Children are very clear...do not talk to your children about the litigation.  It is difficult but when your children ask what is going to happen or what is going on here are some suggestions on how to handle that:

* The Adults and Court are working on what the future will look like.  I know it is hard but hang in there.  If you have any questions I can call your attorney and see if she/he can set aside a time to meet with you again.

* The Court does not want Mom or Dad talking about Court with you.  The Judge is afraid it will upset you, so I can only say, tell the truth and remember that what you want to say can be said through your lawyer and not Mom or Dad.

Talking directly to your child about the proceeding can cost you time with your child.  The Court's consider that a direct violation of their instructions, they also consider that action as not proceeding in the best interest of your child and will consider it when rendering a decision.

Finally, it would be nice if we could reassure our children and tell them what their future is going to look like, but if you are in the Court system, the truth is you do not know what it will look like yet...

Going to Court

The thought of going to court seems to scare many clients.  I try and explain that with the right lawyer and representation.... court is simply the place we go to get further clarity on specific issues.  It is also a time when all the parties are together and can be used as a settlement opportunity as well.

Kids See and Hear Everything....

I am often appointed by the court to represent children.  They vary in age from infant to 17.  It has been over 28 years and I am still amazed that parents will often put their need to make a "point" to their spouse ahead of the emotional well-being of their children.  This includes parents who love their children very much...

Go ahead...call each other names if you must...accuse each other of terrible things if you just can't stop yourself....argue at the top of your lungs about money because it seems that you must....BY WHY WOULD IT EVER BE OK TO DO THIS IN A PLACE OR SITUATION WHERE YOUR CHILDREN COULD OVERHEAR IT?  PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK...